With more Thai girls using online dating sites, it is now claimed that even Thai girls from middle class families are interested in meeting foreigners with good prospects.
A social affairs commentator and magazine writer in Bangkok confirms that there are increasing numbers of Thai girls from respectable backgrounds and with a good education
who are willing to explore the idea of dating foreign men. This coincides with an increasing trend among younger western men particularly from Scandinavian countries who visit
Thailand regularly hoping to meet unattached Thai girls from more respectable sections of Thai society.
'The best bit of advice I can give any foreigner seeking to meet a decent Thai girl is to cancel any thoughts of Pattaya or Phuket where you'll find mostly girls involved in the sex
industry or prostitution. Its lesson number one: good Thai girls are not bar girls, it's so shocking that many foreigners do not understand this at all. What I mean is that there is always
some idea in the background that all Thai girls are easy in some way. This is so so very far from true.' Carla Boonkong points out that the actual truth is that because of the nature of
Thai society, Thai girls have an old fashioned view and this requires a traditional approach to courting and meeting any man with a view to marriage.
Two young western men in Thailand to meet Thai girls
More foreign men are seeking love in Thailand but there are also growing numbers younger men particularly from Scandinavia countries, the UK, Australia and America seeking
love partners in Thailand who are not bar girls or Isaan women in search of better economic prospects.
'I am in Thailand now for another three weeks but I will be back in December,' says Christian Dorner from Norway who has just bought a house near Bangkok as an investment.
Christian is a principal in a furniture design agency in Oslo and has bought the house through a Thai company setup with one of his partners from Norway. Christian is thirty one
years of age and his Norwegian friend and business partner is just two years older. 'We are looking for two nice Thai girls to marry, but we are looking for the right one, you know.'
Christian's long term relationship with a Norwegian girlfriend broke down three years ago and he has decided to begin a gradual change of lifestyle which includes Thailand. 'I came
here on a holiday in 2010 and I found a peace of mind here, I have already met up with many nice Thai girls but I am still looking for the one to marry, you know.'
However it might be a little difficult. 'For years the vast majority of Thai girls seeking foreign partners or husbands have been girls from poor girlfriends typically Isaan girls, divorced
women in Thailand and girls who are working or have worked as sex workers or bar girls, it is still very much the case but in the last eight to ten years there are more of the educated
Thai girls looking to meet foreign men. It comes as a bit of shock to many of men on online dating sites as these Thai girls know what they want, they are not easy women' says Carla
Boonkong, a commentator in Bangkok who covers relationships between Thai women and foreigners.
Norwegian man plans to return to Thailand for love
Christian is currently meeting Thai girls online and plans to visit Thailand on a regular basis. He says his ultimate goal would be to base himself in Thailand. 'I don't plan to work
like this for the whole part of my life, my dream is to live with the sun in Thailand and co-ordinate my business from there,' he says. Christian plans to meet Thai girls online and then
meet them in person when he travels to Thailand. 'I have a Norwegian friend who now lives in Thailand and his best advice for me is to meet Thai girls in small steps and get to know
this country, so that is what I am doing, my life is good now and I have many new friends in Thailand. One of the Thai girls Christian met online takes care of new home on the
outskirts of Bangkok but she is not 'the one'. 'Vipa is a good friend who helped me to find a good place to live in Bangkok, she is already a married lady but seperated. I met her on my
first trip to Thailand, she is very successful business woman and works for a big corporation in Thailand.'
Tips for western men who want to meet affluent Thai girls
Like Christian from Norway there are more and younger western men interested in meeting Thai girls from a more affluent background. Up to recent times this has been
decidedly difficult. Some foreign men suggest that a casual meeting at the office or in public areas in Thailand is an option. This can happen but more than likely it will be an
accident. Even a disciplined approach can be difficult and it will require patience. This is our advice and plan along with some tips:
- We highly recommend Thai Dating sites. All Thai girls who may have decided to date foreigners will use internet dating. Yes, there may be some who will not but today in
Thailand internet dating has become accepted. Particularly so with Thai girls and international Thai Dating sites.
- Already many younger foreigners have been successful in meeting Thai girls but these are often Thai girls from Isaan, a poor region in the north eastern part of Thailand. If you
want to find a partner in Thailand quickly, the best is to schedule a 3- 4 week trip to Thailand in six months and use internet dating or Thai dating sites to meet girls from Isaan who
are living in northern parts of Thailand or even working in Bangkok. However if you are interested in meeting Thai girls from more affluent backgrounds, it will involve more online
activity, perhaps a number of trips to Thailand and more cultural nuance.
- Your dating profile should be attractive. You should have a secure job and ideally some form of third level education if not compatible experience. You should also have a polite
but confident presence online. It is also highly likely that Thai girls with more affluent backgrounds who are single and have not been married before will only be interested in a
foreign men who is also single and has not been married before. Unless you are a foreign man with a distinguished career and relatively wealthy, of course. There will be Thai girls
from good backgrounds who will be interested in exploring relationships online with all comers simply because they are inquisitive, open minded and very interested in life abroad. As
in any other country, your own personality is a key factor.
- One of the key requirements for foreigners seeking to meet Thai girls with a good background in mid Thailand and Bangkok is that you are not condescending in your tone
online. 'It is disturbing and absolutely appalling how many foreigners using online Thai dating sites adapt the wrong attitude towards Thai girls online,' says Carla Boonkong. The
result may well be that you get back what you put out. 'No respectable Thai girl will accept this sort of behaviour, she will simply not respond, those who accept it will be from
disadvantaged backgrounds but even these Thai girls from Isaan are often shocked and draw the line at the behaviour of some foreigners online.'
- Exchange ideas on life in chat conversations and photo galleries so that as you are meeting Thai girls online, so that they understand who you are. Meeting Thai girls is easy. You
can do this online but you have to be patient to meet Thai girls who are from more affluent backgrounds as there are less of them and as a rule they will be less forward expecting you
to do the running. 'The exception to this may be a Thai girl from an affluent background with a high level of self esteem who enjoys interaction online and who often has fluent
English. There are gems like this online and often these girls are particularly interested in living outside Thailand or with a man of western culture but it must be the right guy.'
- Meet the Thai girl's family: Visit Thailand but be prepared to meet with friends of any Thai girl you meet online and perhaps her family. Learn how to show respect in social
interactions with Thai girls and their family such as greetings, dinner etiquette and courting customs. Remember not to overdo this and make sure you are natural. Remember also
that you are not Thai. In nearly all cases a Thai girl will need the permission of her family to marry or even to date a foreigner. This is particularly true for Thai girls, who have a good
education, which are often paid for by her family at great expense. 'If the Thai girl has moderate or good English then this requires a good education in Thailand and Thai families
from middle class background place great emphasis and value on education. In Thailand children are expected, in turn, to take care of their family. Particularly girls, so any decision
about marriage or relationships for a Thai girl is also a family one. This is something like Europe maybe eighty years ago or something like that,' says Carla Boonkong.
- Relocation to a foreign country: James is 31 year old computer programmer from Hawaii. He has been to Thailand twice over the last two years but has still not found the right
Thai girl who is willing to relocate. 'I have met many lovely ladies; one of them is a wonderful Thai girl who isn't ready yet to live in the USA. But in 2014 I'll be in Thailand again. One
of the key questions for younger foreigners is the question of relocation. While for many Thai girls from Isaan relocation is often a ticket to a life with greater opportunity and income
potential, this is not always the case for more affluent Thai girls. 'One recent study highlighted the story of a Thai girl with a Masters degree moving to Germany. She ended up as an
office cleaner while retraining.'
But this is not always the case, there is another story of a graphics design graduate who now lives in the UK with her young husband and they have a very successful design
company. But one of the key questions for any Thai girl's family from a middle class background will be her welfare and they will be concerned if she has a good education, that she
will have the right opportunities. So you see this is why dating a Thai girl from a proper background is challenging and remember only a small proportion of Thai girls in Thailand are
interested. Thailand is doing well right now and life is good for young middle class Thai girls. But for some the idea of living, travel and finding a handsome westerner with prospects
is something worth exploring.'
Thai Girls in Thailand have more options
Economic growth and rising standard of living in Thailand for younger Thai people offer better educational and employment opportunities for Thai girls. However while in the
past, many Thai girls looked for relationships with foreign men simply as an economic opportunity, today in Thailand there is a growing interest and acceptance of western culture.
'A small proportion of Thai girls are interested in exploring the great big world out there', says Ms Boonkong. Thidarat is a graphic designer with a university degree. She lives
with her family in Chonburi in a large house and has a number of contracts for her studio based in her home. However she has had an online dating profile for the past three years. 'I
am interested in finding a foreign boyfriend but he must have the right spec,' she says on a telephone interview. She has dated four or five western men in the past two years often
travelling to Bangkok for dinner or even extended lunch dates. 'I have made many good friends on the dating site but I have not found my husband. But I am sure he is out there.'
Thidarat would like to meet English or a Canadian man.
Many Thai girls think carefully about relocation to foreign countries
John is a young American who lives in Costa Rica. 'I have been to Thailand now every year since 2008 and I've been meeting Thai girls online since 2007, I still haven't found
the right one. The problem is that most Thai girls I get serious are not interested in living in Costa Rica,' he says. John is a writer who works for magazine and news outlets in the
United States. 'It took me ten years to get the lifestyle I now enjoy so I'm not ready to get back in the rat race even for a beautiful Thai girl' he says.
Affluent Thai girls have a checklist
Carla Boonkong points out that many educated Thai girls from good backgrounds have a list of requirements from prospective foreign suitors:
- They should not have been married nor had a serious relationship before.
- They should have qualifications and be able to provide.
- They should be presentable and have good social skills.
It may sound as if the Thai girls are setting the bar too high but Carla is quick to add: 'These are traditional Thai girls who are also quite reasonable and respectful. Thai society
places a premium on beautiful young girls from respectable backgrounds who have not been married before; a significant proportion of these women will be virgins, a thing that
would be truly shocking in western society but I wouldn't overstate it either as things are also rapidly changing in Thailand.'
Different kind of Thai Girls
By Thai girls we are referring to younger Thai women. Like Thai women, there are different kinds of Thai girls in Thailand. One of the first things to remember is that the vast
majority of Thai girls with good prospects are definitely not interested in meeting foreign men. 'In years past it was taboo but still there is stigma attached to dating a foreigner. To
Thai people it is a rejection of Thai culture, think of Thailand as a close knit nation almost like a family,' says M/s Boonkong.
Carla defines different types of Thai women who may be interested in meeting foreign men:
- Isaan girls: 'It has now become accepted in north eastern Thailand for Thai girls to meet and marry farang.' Indeed increasing studies and research is pointing towards an
enthusiasm for girls in poorer Thai families to find a foreign husband. This extends also to girls from Isaan who have made in the big city or even have secure positions in the
government or big business. 'It is not uncommon to see a Thai girls from a poorer background even with good education, spending her leisure time online with some of the dating
sites or going on the odd night out with friends to more up market location in the bigger cities or in Bangkok with the idea that her destiny or dream man is out there.'
- Thai Girls from mid Thailand: There is a small minority of Thai girls who are interested in exploring the world and new horizons. In the last ten years Thailand has changed
dramatically and there is a growing acceptance or foreign marriage. Often it is success stories of Thai girls who have meet rich husbands in foreign countries. One example is the
Thai girl who met and married the heir to the Guinness family from France but there are more and more positive reports from Thai girls who have emigrated to America, Australia
and the Scandinavian countries. The culture in mid regions of Thailand, the south and Bangkok among lower and upper middle class Thai families would certainly not encourage a
Thai girl to consider this option. But some do and the numbers are increasing. In many cases Thai girls like this are independent minded and confident. The best way to meet Thai
girls in this group is through Thai Dating sites. 'Don't expect a decent Thai girls like this to jump at the first offer, if you are divorced or have had a relationship in Thailand already,
forget it,' says Carla Boonkong. 'Or maybe your are such a charmer because Thai girls like this while they do know what they want, and they are usually too polite to offend but even
this too is changing as city Thai girls learn the ways of western women.'
- Hi So Thai Girls or Good Thai Girls: Conventional wisdom suggested in the past that Thai girls from higher middle class families or a wealthier background were not interested
in meeting foreign men. For the most part this is still true. 'Most Thai girls from wealthier backgrounds in Bangkok or well connected families can easily find many eligible Thai men.
In fact in today's world economy many men from wealthier backgrounds have a lot more to spend than their counterparts in western societies where there are more taxes and cost
are higher,' says M/s Boonkong. However here there has been change too. As more Thai girls opt for foreign travel and education abroad in countries like the USA and the United
Kingdom, it is becoming quite fashionable in some Thai circles to have a foreign boyfriend even an older foreign boyfriend. 'It should be obvious that these foreign men should be
well heeled and more importantly have a good education or be able to handle themselves well,' says M/s Boonkong.
- Thai Bar girls: Much has been written on the dangers of Thai bar girls. The best advice for foreign men hoping to find a successful relationship in Thailand is to avoid girls who
work in bars. Thai bar girls generally come from very poor families where there is less or an emphasis on education. Many are also emotionally scarred no matter how acceptable
prostitution is in Thailand. However there are successful relationships between foreign men and former Thai bar girls. 'My own opinion is that more of these relationships work out
then don't but it is difficult not to sit up and take notice of the horror stories,' says M/s Boonkong.
German man rant against disrespect for Thai girls
A German with a Thai girlfriend from a respectable background in Bangkok recently e-mailed ThaiLoveLines pointing out why many foreigners are failing to make an impression
on Thai girls who are interested in meeting westerners. Henrik Muller felt that many foreign men on Thai dating sites were either deliberately or inadvertently showing prejudice
towards decent Thai girls on dating sites: 'I have heard some shocking stories; low people like this should be banned.' Henrik suggested that even among his own friends in Bangkok
that many ended up with glorified prostitutes instead of taking the time and patience to meet decent Thai girls from respectable families. Henrik, who works as financial analyst, lives
with his Thai girlfriend in Bangkok. His girlfriend works for a prestigious advertising company in Thailand's capital city and on a Facebook survey discovered that 86% of her
girlfriends would date a foreign man if she was single.
Only the best Thai girls from affluent Thai society marry foreigners
Carla Boonkong disagrees that so many affluent Thai girls are interested in foreign men. 'I'd say if it was 20% this would be high and many Thai girls may be interested in meeting
foreigners but a very small section of Thai girls from good backgrounds are really interested in marrying foreigners. I's say, in this respect, Thai girls are no different from girls
anywhere in the world. A certain group are interested in living abroad or inter racial dating. But girls in Thailand, who pursue this path, must be very brave as they are fighting against
social stigma. The higher up in Thai society, the more the stigma, although it is the case that having a foreign partner or husband is more fashionable today. But the affluent Thai girl
that then goes out of Thailand for a time is often leaving behind a certain degree of privilege. The Thai girls who marry foreigners are brave and very special Thai women. That is
why the foreigner who meets them is very lucky.'